Closing the Gap

When I hear the word "Atonement" I always think of what the word means if you break it down "At One" with God and that is so true. Only after we repent for our wrong doings can we truly be "At One" with God. Sometimes we make really dumb mistakes in our lives and I think that as we get older we have better judgment and the sins get smaller.... if that is even possible. Not smaller per say because a sin is a sin, in God's eyes, but I guess you can say you are more in the "fine tuning" process. The more I come to understand the Atonement and the consequences for each thing that I do the better I want to become. That being said, I recently made a huge mistake in my personal life which re-opened a partially healed wound from my past. I wanted that person to know exactly what I thought of them because of the pain that they had caused me. As my friend Rachel would say... "I took the low road." Even though I have apologized and tried to repent there will always be that rift between my sister and I because of it. When I think about how I would of handled this a long time ago... I probably would have said the same thing (if not worse) and then walked away saying and thinking... "She deserved it." And to never think about it again but in reality no one deserves "it." No one deserves to be treated with disdain. The Lord teaches that we should LOVE. Love our enemies and to pray for those that may use us. He teaches that we need to love our neighbor as we love ourselves and yet.... I did none of those things. Satan would have us to feel hate and anger and discontent. I am so grateful that I have been taught the Gospel and that I do have the opportunity to Repent and that my Savior is willing to forgive me for mistakes that I made and make in my life. I am not blogging about this for my sister or family to see because frankly none of them read my blog. It is important to me that people know that I do have a testimony of the Gospel. That I do love my Savior and I know that He lives and that He loves me even though I still make mistakes. I am so Grateful and I have a testimony that we can all be "At One" with God because of the wonderful and blessed sacrifice that is made on our behalf. Life is so hard... and as I am trying to become the women that Heavenly Father wants me to be, that I need to be. I pray that others will understand that I am a work in progress. I am working at closing the gap between what I know to be true and how I choose to live my life.